The Oxford dictionary defines ‘to be tinctured’ as, ‘is to be tinged or imbued with a slight amount of something’.
As I nursed my first born and spent a couple of years balancing between work and nurturing my boy towards an adorable toddler-hood, I went through numerous transformations myself.
Each transformation shattered my one or the other preconception about the Ws and H of motherhood. Everytime I was left with a bittersweet realisation of about how grey everything in the world of motherhood is. And thus every distinct experience left me tinctured with a new lesson.
Now as I embark on my journey towards stay at home motherhood with another baby coming my way, I feel ever more vulnerable.
There’s this uneasiness about letting go off my routine office job. At the same time, I feel extremely excited at the prospect of spending more time with my kids and play a larger role in their day-to-day lives. Where on one hand, I am relieved about not having to struggle with my work-life balance any more, I also feel the panic of being stuck with the house and kid chores the entire day without having a life of my own.
I have known the working mom v/s the stay at home mom comparison ever since I decided to continue working post my first child birth. And I know that a lot of judgments are accrued at both the ends of the sea-saw; yet I am at the threshold of discovering a new aspect to my own persona. I feel happy, excited, relieved, anxious, depressed and torn-apart all at the same time.