“Ammi, you’ll be safe here, is this okay?” I kept asking her though I dreaded her reply.
“Your teacher told me you’re the brightest student, Ayina, I am so happy. Let’s eat ice-cream,” my demented mother replied.
She has gone back to her favorite memory, my childhood, while I lived the worst moment in that instant. This is okay. This is the only way to save everything and everyone from falling apart. This is the only way to be saved. I kept repeating it in my head.
I thought about my life once again. My life is made-up of an obedient husband who obeys only his mother, a carefree US-brother who cares only for his wife, a loving mother-in-law who loves only her son, and a kind mother to whom nobody is kind. Not even me.
My phone buzzed, and I gulped the pain first to pick it up.
“Did everything go well at the Shelter home?” the obedient husband asked.
“Hmm I am about to leave.”
“Good, you did the right thing. Come back soon. We are waiting.”
I stood up from the bench and started walking away without looking back. I shouted at her shamelessly for the last time,” Don’t follow me, Ammi.”
I look large steps with larger guilt and hatred till I heard her scream, felt her hand pushing me, and observed the sound of those screeching tires.
I looked back. The bubble of my guilt and hate has busted. I have been saved but pushed back to this world of hell. Yet again.